


Just as Expected

by Pups_Side_Box (Puppyinabox)



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Emotional Abuse, Jonmartin only if you squink, Kinda, M/M, The Lonely - Freeform, abuse mention, feeding the eye, idk - Freeform, martin’s absolutely stellar childhood, martin’s mother, past emotional abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-10
Updated: 2020-06-10
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:21:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 700
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24634471
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Puppyinabox/pseuds/Pups_Side_Box
Summary: Feeding the eye is easier than getting the archivist to allow you to feed it.  Martin tells Jon a story about his mother.(Takes place mostly outside of the timeline, but approximate to mid-late season 4)
Relationships: Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist
Comments: 2
Kudos: 33





	Just as Expected

He didn’t quite know how he heard the crash through the fog around him, but regardless it cut through and he stood. Maybe it was instinct, or compulsion. When Martin opened the door to the archive and saw the archivist trembling on the floor part of him knew what was wrong, it wasn’t some sign of Beholding reaching for him but rather that dispute how long he’d been away, Martin knew Jon.

He squared down, leaning back on his heels, “the old statements aren’t cutting it anymore, are they?”

Jon shook his head.

Martin hummed, “you need something new? Or something you don't know?”

“I-“ Jon laughed wryly, “I don't know…. I think it just has to be new to me, but I-“

“I don’t suppose I’m busy right now…” he mused,

“Martin-“

“I’m not compelled. I’m doing this… besides, Melany said her therapist told her talking helps.”

“Martin no- I-... I refuse to do that to you to- to make you-“

“What, make me food?” Martin moved to sit cross legged on the floor beside where Jon lay, “that’s the world we live in now, Jon.” He leaned in, “and you will eat.”

“M-“

“Take some moral stability in it being a command, Jon… please.”

Jon was silent for a long time, the only sound being his own ragged breathing, he couldn’t even hear Martin breath, but his shoulders moved as if he did.

“Fine.”

“Good. Do you know about my mother?”

“Only what you’ve told me.” Jon sat up, though his shoulders still sagged,

“Good.” Martin sighed, “this isn’t really supernatural, but it hurts and I think that’s all that matters, that it’s important.”

Jon nodded, his eyes trained on the floor.

“She hated me even before she started to fall apart. She used to scold me when I was happy too loudly. But, because she was irritated by my presence, she didn’t really care if I was gone, at least she didn’t make a fuss when I came home late… maybe it was because either way I always did come home. Because I didn’t actually leave like my dad did. She never yelled at how late I was for dinner, or how I’d worried her, she just stared at the door when I came back. Once,” Martin laughed, then frowned, “once I tested to see how long she’d wait… I was 13… she wanted two days. I spent the weekend at a friend’s house, lying and saying I’d told her when really I hadn't. I came back and… she looked like she hadn’t moved at all. For two days. She almost smiled when I got home, but I think that was just in her own relief. She didn't… she hadn’t seemed to soil herself, but when I made and served her dinner… she ate so ravenously. She didn’t eat for two days…” 

Martin had a haunted look on his face, still wracked with guilt at the hunger of someone who treated him so very badly. Jon didn’t point out the irony he was forced to see in it, 

Martin shook his head and went on, “after that I actually tried not to leave as much. Part of me thinks she just… she just did it to manipulate me. To make me fear ever actually trying to leave for good. But… I don’t know. Self harm was never one of her tactics. Maybe it was my fault, not that i left but- but part of me expected her to be there, waiting… everything was left exactly how i left it, exactly how I expected to see it when I got home. I don’t know if it was my mind that made her stay that way, and even though I realize now how… thoroughly she hated me… The guilt burns.”

Jon let out a shaky breath,

“Uh- statement ends… I’m- im going to- are you ok now?”

“Yes I- I think that should do it…”

“Good. I’m going away now… I- I haven't talked that much in a long time… it feels foreign in my throat.”

Jon nodded and when he broke his guilt driven eye contact with the floor martin was gone, but he hadn’t heard him leave.


End file.
